so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
