Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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