so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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