Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
