Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
do nipples grow back?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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