i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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