you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
