If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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