I want to walk on stilts...naked
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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