How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
