i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
