kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize