He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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