if you like me you must not know who I am
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Boobs speak an international language.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
