Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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