Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
