i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize