ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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