the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
well you can't waste a boner
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
