my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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