garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
