As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
