just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize