i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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