Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize