your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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