spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
