The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
