I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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