I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
