I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
