So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
