yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
