We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
