The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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