it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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