ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
