fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
