I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
