Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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