SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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