Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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