i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize