And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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