yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
