I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
