I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
