his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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