i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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