If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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