I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
