why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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