i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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