You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
