I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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