Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
