Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
being pregnant is like rehab
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
