He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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