Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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