Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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