iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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