I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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