just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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