I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
