i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
