In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
